Midget Pickles?

Wait. No. Midget pickles? Is that what it said? There’s a whole shelf of Del Monte midget pickles (sweet sweet midget pickles!) at the Safeway, and… no one’s saying anything about it. Where I come from, calling a little person a “midget” is about as savory as calling them—or anyone—a “fuckhead.” It’s not the same species of word, of course—as different as “wop” and “retard,” say. But right along those same derogatory lines, you see. I like pickles, and I like little people—and together I’d call them irresistible—but maybe I’m just out of touch.


Related Tales

» “Super” (11 of Oct, 2004)
» “"Best of Me Symphony"” (13 of Aug, 2004)
» “Story Time” (03 of Jul, 2004)

Comments

  • i feel for these pickles, harassed by the packaging that contains them. what if people were forced to wear tattoos on their foreheads of other peoples’ impressions of themselves — kind of like a warped “memento.”

    free the midget pickles!


  • Where can you buy this product. Sweet Midget Pickles.
    Can not find them in Texas. Help!!!!!


  • I live in mansfield Mo. and I can not fined Del monte sweet pickles anywere and I have even asked at the stores if they could order them for we.and they are unable to. The only time I can get them is if I go to calif or some one is coming out here. I live to Springfield MO.


  • I live in Kingman, Az. and they do not carry the Del Monte Sweet midget pickles in the Safeway store here or at any of the other grocery stores. Where would I be able to get them? Help? Thanks









Wait. No. Midget pickles? Is that what it said? There’s a whole shelf of Del Monte midget pickles (sweet sweet midget pickles!) at the Safeway, and… no one’s saying anything about it. Where I come from, calling a little person a “midget” is about as savory as calling them—or anyone—a “fuckhead.” It’s not the same species of word, of course—as…